Tiring, But Worth It

Confession: I use "we" in relation to TKKDC, when it's just me. "We hope you're well, we can't wait to dance together again, we are going on a break..." they are basically my personal sentiments. I think it sounds professional, and this has always been the goal for me. To approach dance in a way that honors the art form (obviously beyond the way I communicate), while creating room for fun and games in a structured manner. It is what I've seen and admired, what I've experienced, and what I've known to emulate. Welcome to today's post dancer friends.

Did you know our initial name was simply The Kena Kona? As in, my (Makena's) corner? Yep. It was later extended to include "Dance Center" because "we" were registering our name and "we" needed to look serious, which (to me ) meant there had to be an obvious relation to dance upon hearing it. This desire to professionalize us didn't just stop at a name extension... I went ahead and created a website and a logo, got a bank account, started a mailing list and WhatsApp group, put our own structures and sytems in place, dove in head first, and kept going... "We" were serious and it showed, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

BUT, in as much as having all this in place fills me with such pride, I would be lying if I didn't acknowledge how exhausting it sometimes gets. Very recently for example, I was feeling completely drained, mentally and emotionally. I was tired of unintentionally keeping up appearances. Tired of trying to figure out the most effective way to teach, to market, to show up, to get students and keep them, all while staying in God's purpose for me. Tired of the constant-ness that comes with managing it all... Tired. Tired. Tired. And as I was sitting in the reality of things, I came across a tweet that said,"What a privilege it is to be exhausted by an ambition of your own choosing," and it stopped me in my tracks. Suddenly, I was reminded of a truth I already knew... I really am blessed to be doing what my heart has dreamt of for so long. And no, that revelation didn't discredit the very human experience of feeling drained and discouraged, that still very much stood tall. That revelation simply reminded me the exhaustion was, and will continue to be for a worthy cause. And you know what? I think I am okay with that... So here's to striving for excellence, feeling all the things as a result, forgetting the bigger picture, and then being reminded of it, and honoring it all.

Keep creating and sharing!

~your dancer friend